Photo by toddwshaffer
Giving your heart has inherent risk.
“Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she won’t suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when the person looks back-she will hear her heart” Paulo Coelho
As I grow into the crone I desire, the past seems to hold me back. The thoughts of disappointment, loss, and betrayal make risk taking so much more difficult. I want to stay here safe, what is the cost of going forward? The reality of human nature is we work hard on growth, personal development, thinking that joy and bliss should accompany our effort. We learn to see ourselves and think that this personal effort should yield that happiness we desire.
What occurred is that living and life are filled with sadness and consequences beyond my control. People, relationships and dreams died. Experiences occurred that were filled with despair. I learned that anguish can last an eternity. Even though those parts of life grew me, it made me want to withdraw. Digging deep has exposed my shadow and causes me to pull back. As my self-knowledge grows, so does my conscience and I start to feel deeply about my own responsibility for the suffering and it holds me back from exposing myself to others. What are the choices: take risks or miss the growth that only life can bring. Who said that life in all its aspects was free from suffering.
Courage comes from being able to take the suffering and risk to continue to move forward choosing a path with heart. It means taking the fork in the road and accepting the consequences. Choosing one means giving up the other. Grant me the wisdom to know myself (shadow included) and what matters the most to me and choose wisely the road and accept the consequences of the path.