What are you attached to?
We spend so much time tied up in other people’s problems, like knots in our hair. We keep trying to disentangle the knots in our own head or to remove them from others. It becomes a circle where we don’t really know where we begin and they end. The circle is like a merry-go-round that we jump on and can’t get off. It’s like the bus is moving but we are not driving it. Learning to not react to other people or situations that needle us is a skill that needs to be developed over time. It takes building the habit. We need to learn that by not reacting, or increasing the drama, doesn’t mean we don’t care. Freeing ourselves to concentrate on ourselves and not respond to a knee-jerk reaction to repair, unravel, salvage, or have power over others allows us to regain all of that over ourselves. The idea that we can make someone else can feel happy (or beautiful or angry) or they us is an illusion. By detaching we are free to choose how we react. It is empowering to take control of myself. I am doing it for me. We are then free to show genuine love and care. All our feelings are internal and we get to choose how to respond to life. It’s a balance we need to find.
Why would we want to detach? Doesn’t that mean separation?
If we are so caught up with what everyone else is doing it makes it difficult to cultivate the peace we desire for ourselves. It is a letting go of all the knots of others; their behaviour, their desire to control us, their burdens and anxieties. In doing so we stop living at the whim of others. They no longer determine how we feel. We can choose our own feeling, thoughts and actions. We then free them to choose theirs and allow them to grow, find their own way and hopefully their own peaceful journey. Only then can we come together as equals. No controlling, only care and love.
We are no longer immobilized, but free to take opportunities for growth, change and new experiences that might take us in new directions. Detaching allows them the same opportunities for growth. Learning to let go allows us to live the life we were meant to live. It is not a separation, but love, for them and for ourselves. It makes us free to be ourselves. Perfect in every way.
If I am suffering today or trying to change others or things around me, or if my monkey brain can’t be quieted I need to ask myself, what am I attached to. What am I hanging on to? Is it a thing, an emotion, a thought?
By centering my thought, breathing and releasing the need for control, I take back my life and allow others to live theirs.