I am not a person who needs to have much. Actually I have started a practice of divesting myself of a life time of collecting or having things. Recently my desires have turned to having more intangibles including time, peace of mind and fun! I want these intangibles to be able to do more of things that bring me happiness like writing, painting and learning to play my Native American flute and enjoying photography.
The having is interfering with my doing. Taking care of the haves always interferes with my wanting to do. Managing the haves, cleaning the haves, moving the haves and being responsible for the haves has become a pain.
I am usually a very organized person and every day I create a to do list to keep myself on target with all the things I need and want to do. I try to schedule time for being, too. I am very good at prioritizing what is important, but the “do” always seem to take precedence.
I end up reacting with anger at the pressures my life (yes, my life) is putting on me. I become stressed, but, I need to take time to de-stress myself: steps that include, practices like meditation, the “be” part.
So what am I am I going to do? I do have a choice: I can “be” happy or unhappy with where and who I am; if I choose to be happy, does this mean I don’t have to do anything — and yet nothing changes? If I know that I can make changes for the better, I have to do something to make the changes happen.
Implementing the “be” practice might mean I don’t have to do anything. I can simply be. “Being” also means making choices, which is the most basic item I have to do.
So I’m left in a contradiction of believing that the “being” part of my life is not about what I do, and yet doing what needs to be done: like my practice of meditating.
I have to be before I can do, and I have to do before I can have. Not doing this means nothing will ever will be enough. The being allows me to understand that everything I have is enough, and I can do what needs to be done, right now. So, I plan to put the importance on some “being” time on my “to-do” list. It may just turn out to be the best thing on my list…. a being investment in me.
Photo by: Andy Levine http://cogdogblog.com/